Purpose

When you are single, you do single people things. You wake up when you want to or when your schedule demands and go about your single day and do single people activities. You call people, set up dates and go to meet other single people. Wen engaging in relationships, you either have one of two ultimate goals. You either are striving to or not to get married to one whom you are currently seeing.

When you are married and do married people things, your life and mid are preoccupied with doing things for the betterment of the unit, the family. You wake up to the one you are married to every morning and go to work and go on with their activities of daily living. I recently read a snippet of what it's like. It's a very romantic view of what  married life is like. Happiness

I would think many people would think my life to very complex and bogged down with details. To say that I am over exposed to childhood problems would be an understatement. Many times with smaller children, simply humoring them long enough to simply write this blog entry is a major undertaking and demand on my time away from them. I would think anyone with more than two children can understand that.

One hour later after averting a major bathtub clog.....

Where was I? Right, the total polar opposite dynamic. It's a mental preparedness that you do every morning when I one that is married prepares for. The day is frock with minor emergencies and whether you are prepared or not, you are the one they look to to fix the major disruptions in their lives. God forbid anything goes wrong in your life. Then everything gets fucked up. @smiles to myself@.

 I accepted these things when I got married and had children. And if you are mentally strong enough, you can hang in there. You can be "The Man". You can reap the rewards of their love and admiration because without it, why else get up in the morning? For another day of single life? For another conquest, for another day of little if any directed energy ex pension, for no purpose other than to breathe in, breathe out and repeat? This is why God or what ever put me here. I am sure of it. Laura and the kids were my purpose and without them, I would be little more than the man I described as breathing in, breathing out and repeating.

07/23/12

I have re read this blog entry and have had a lighter change of heart since them. I have the same problems most men with a family has, except the difference is medication. I have a lighter, more life centered and family centered view on this subject. I am a happier man and a more life and family centered individual. My work is the same and my family life has not changed. In fact, now there is less money coming in and my efforts to make some have since prompted me to write more and look for avenues to sell my literary efforts in a market that is more profitable than Blogger.




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Answers

A few days ago, my wife took me to see the first of many appointments, I presume, to diagnose what the cause of my memory loss is. The doctor was short, female and brilliant. She was amazing. Her staff, however, leaves something to be desired.

The appointment itself was more than degrading. The doctor asked me questions and I would ,more often than not, give incorrect information or less than complete information. My wife quickly corrected me and the doctor got the information she required. I guess that is the purpose of a consultative appointment in the first place, so there it is.

It was so funny. The doctor would ask a question expecting a yes or no answer. My wife, brilliant in her own rite, would want to either correct me or set the record straight and give very comprehensive answers clearly not required by the physician. I know she loves me and she could see the doctor was going down the same diagnostic path as doctors in the past. Depression, anxiety, these are a couple of common issues of men my age. These diagnoses are likely not the issue.

I like her. She gave my a ton of paper. Drugs, tests and blood work. All are due in her office by the end of the month to help her diagnose my issue. Good luck. I hope she comes up with something. It's getting progressively worse.

Today I visited my father. He has Alzheimer's Disease. He was diagnosed years ago and is doing tremendously well. If I have this disease and I get the same treatment he has received, I think I'll be in good shape.The drugs he is taking are many, but as long as he takes them, he has more good days than bad.
Today was not a good day for me. I am a little nervous about my wife coming home. I don't know why. Driving was a little challenging. I was fearful about getting into an accident with the kids so I left a mile when pulling out into traffic. Directions weren't a problem today at least. Operation of the car is almost never an issue. It was once and it freaked my wife out a little.

I had to laugh at my mother yesterday. I helped he choose a door at Lowe's yesterday. We left there and agreed to meet at Foster's Grill just down the street. It took me a while to find it, I passed it three times. Anyway while sitting there she says to me and my father, "Remind me to" (she had to do something after lunch. I am not sure at this point what that something was. I just found it hilarious she uttered those words to me and my father. THIS IS NOT ALZHEIMER"S DISEASE!! Even though both my father and grandfather had it. It's something related to my Epilepsy. I just know it.