My wife, what a patient and loving person. She has put up with my non sense for almost fifteen years. My memory loss, missed appointments, forgotten details like, filling the tank with gas, you know non important stuff. It hasn't bothered me much until my fortieth birthday. In that month, I have lost my position with my employer and have noticed some pretty damn dramatic things happening to me that I can not explain or control. How does it make me feel? Well, I must admit my self esteem has taken a little hit. I think this is probably as far in the business food chain I will get. Which, by the way is a downward movement in the twelve years I have been with the company, a direct opposite direction than I or my wife, I am sure, intended.
My Grandfather and father both had Alzheimer's disease. I have promised my wife that I would start the ball rolling to be tested for what ever is clouding my thoughts and erasing my memory. Words, names, dates..all are elusive to me and now, simple tasks seem difficult when in the past I could juggle tasks pretty well. It would suck if it came back positive for the disease and I am a little nervous about this appointment I have with my doctor.
No one knows at work other than Bruce. He asked how it went today. I told him I scheduled it for later in the month so Laura can be there and better recall events for me. I sit here writing about the events that could potentially change my life and it scares me a little. My work, my family, money, ...Laura's stressing about money now, how would she if I couldn't work.
A man is tied to the function he serves to those around him. I haven't been fully able to fill those shoes for at least a year..Laura says much longer. It's events like loosing myself on a drive to my sister's house when I have been there a thousand times. My boss has noticed my work ethic has not changed while my output is lower than it needs to be to keep me in the position I am in. I will be moved to another position at the end of the month. I have decided to use this forum as a sequence of events that embody the path I am on. The doctor's appointment will be the first step.
07/23/12
The doctor's visit was the first step and she put me on Zoloft. She ordered many expensive tests that I simply can not afford until Laura gets back to work. I will update when the tests are performed and the results come back.
